Friday, October 3, 2008

Conquer Time

In the dawn of early morning, as I step outside my door, I feel the cold fall air sting at my cheek and turn my nose to red. I slide into the van to begin my morning commute. I reach for the temperature control and move it up a notch to warm and clear the windshield. Out the window, a gust of wind scoops a multitude of leaves in brilliant shades of gold and crimson into swirling dervish dancers of flaming color in the early morning sun.

With the arrival of fall comes the keen awareness that another riding season is slipping into the past. That I am in the van is testament to this. The grays I spy in the rear view mirror as I check my hair is further evidence that time is ticking on. A silver Lexus darts into the space between me and the car ahead. Soon he is dashing in and out of lanes. We meet again at the next light. His effort to save time is fruitless.

How we perceive time depends on our current circumstance. Time itself does not care at all how we are affected by it. After all, it isn’t time that changes tempo, but the person marking it. I recall waking in the morning after the death of a loved one. Coming fully to awareness, my grief once again holding me to my pillow, the thought of how cruel time is washes over me. For you cannot turn time back and retract an unkind word, correct an injustice or resurrect a loved one.

Neither can you stand time still. The joys of life skip on too quickly. The blush of the bride’s cheek, a lover’s sweet embrace or the baby at your breast are all moments that are over all too quickly. We wish to linger there if time would just wait. This last is what I wish to do with the moments on the road with Jade. To breathe deeply of the mingled scents of spring blossoms, feel the sun upon my cheek, the wind in my face, and the sense of freedom I have when riding. When on two wheels your senses and awareness are heightened, your soul as is your flesh, windswept.

I can however live in each moment. Grieve when it is time to grieve, love when love stands near, and caress the babies in my arms before they dash away. I will not pine for that which has passed or linger over sorrows. I am blessed for the moments time has given me and memories after all, are a gift over which time hath no power.

"Rest not! Life is sweeping by; go and dare before you die. Something mighty and sublime, leave behind to conquer time."
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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